


Tony, Get the Memo

by Meilan_Firaga



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Epistolary, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, Office
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:47:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26685397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meilan_Firaga/pseuds/Meilan_Firaga
Summary: Some parts of working in the lab and office settings of Avengers Tower require some adjustment. Like understanding that having coworkers means not treating your lab space like a private party anymore. Or that if you do decide to science naked that there could be consequences.For The Darcyverse Discord September 2020 Epistolary Event.
Comments: 20
Kudos: 59
Collections: Letters of Note





	Tony, Get the Memo

**AVENGERS LABS - INVITATION ONLY**

_**INTERLABORATORY MEMORANDUM** _

TO: [Group: Lab Gremlins]

FROM: Benevolent Overlord of Snacks and Naps

CC: <none>

RE: NAKED O’CLOCK IS NOT AN ACTUAL TIME

Please be advised that in spite of what certain billionaire geniuses might try to tell you, conducting research and/or development without one’s clothing is a terrible idea. From this moment forward, gremlins found to be naked in their laboratory space (not including those needing to re-dress from certain Jolly Green issues—I got your back, Dr. B.) will be appropriately dealt with. Nobody needs to see that nonsense when they briefly glance away from Queer Eye to check your shenanigans on the montior.

_~*~*~*~*~*~_

_**Chat: DLewis@StarkIndustries.com ; HHogan@StarkIndustries.com** _

**Head of Security H. Hogan:** Why is Tony filing security complaints against you for invasion of privacy?

**Lab Mama Lewis:** I’m invading nothing when he starts waggling Tony Jr. in front of the lab cameras. 

**Head of Security H. Hogan:** What?

**Lab Mama Lewis:** We’re having an ongoing discussion as to whether or not he can treat his lab space like a nudist colony. 

**Head of Security H. Hogan:** Was he wearing his badge?

**Lab Mama Lewis:** I am going to bake you so many cookies.

_~*~*~*~*~*~_

**AVENGERS LABS - INVITATION ONLY**

_**INTERLABORATORY MEMORANDUM** _

TO: [Group: Avengers Labs Personnel]

FROM: H. Hogan, Head of Security

CC: <none>

RE: BADGE REQUIREMENT REMINDER

As has been repeatedly stated, all personnel are required to wear their identification badges at all times. This includes building owners and financial backers. Thank you.

_~*~*~*~*~*~_

_**Chat: HHogan@StarkIndustries.com ; TStark@StarkIndustries.com** _

**Head Genius in Charge:** You traitor. 

**Head of Security H. Hogan:** You know the rules.

**Head Genius in Charge:** I cannot believe you.

**Head Genius in Charge:** I was going to name my first born after you.

**Head Genius in Charge:** SHE TURNED ON THE SPRINKLERS. 

**Head Genius in Charge:** DID YOU KNOW OUR SPRINKLERS ARE ICE COLD?

**Head of Security H. Hogan:** Is there video?

**Head Genius in Charge:** You’re dead to me.

_~*~*~*~*~*~_

FROM: [ dlewis@starkindustries.com ](mailto:dlewis@starkindustries.com)

TO: [ ppotts@starkindustries.com ](mailto:ppotts@starkindustries.com)

SUBJECT: New developmental request

Can I pull Bruce and Helen off their projects to work on a joint venture? If there are any scientists in the world who could combine forces to create a viable, safe form of eye and/or brain bleach it would be those two. I bet they can do it in three weeks or less.

Darcy L. Lewis

Lab Manager, Avengers Labs

  
  


FROM: [ ppotts@starkindustries.com ](mailto:ppotts@starkindustries.com)

TO: [ dlewis@starkindustries.com ](mailto:dlewis@starkindustries.com)

SUBJECT: RE: New developmental request

Do I even want to know what has you on this train of thought?

Virginia Potts

CEO, Stark Industries

  
  


FROM: [ dlewis@starkindustries.com ](mailto:dlewis@starkindustries.com)

TO: [ ppotts@starkindustries.com ](mailto:ppotts@starkindustries.com)

SUBJECT: RE: RE: New developmental request

Probably not. I’ll give you one guess whose fault this request is.

Darcy L. Lewis

Lab Manager, Avengers Labs

  
  


FROM: [ ppotts@starkindustries.com ](mailto:ppotts@starkindustries.com)

TO: [ dlewis@starkindustries.com ](mailto:dlewis@starkindustries.com)

SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: New developmental request

I need no further details.

Virginia Potts

CEO, Stark Industries

_~*~*~*~*~*~_

**AVENGERS LABS - INVITATION ONLY**

_**INTERLABORATORY MEMORANDUM** _

TO: [Group: Avengers Labs Personnel]

FROM: V. Potts, Ruler of All

CC: <none>

RE: URGENT

I have three very important meetings today, and the coffee machine on this floor is not working properly. Do not make me come down there.

_~*~*~*~*~*~_

_**Group Chat: Lab Gremlins** _

**Dr. Helen Cho:** Tony, will you please just behave?

**Head Genius in Charge:** I am innocent!

**Astrophysics Queen:** No one has ever believed that, you absolute menace.

**Dr. Bruce Banner:** Darcy asked nicely and you escalated until she involved both Happy and Pepper.

**Lab Mama Lewis:** To be fair, he involved Happy first.

**Dr. Bruce Banner:** He did?

**Lab Mama Lewis:** He filed an invasion of privacy complaint against me.

**Head Genius in Charge:** Remind me to have a chat with Happy about the meaning of the phrase “anonymous complaint.”

**Dr. Bruce Banner:** Tony, it doesn’t count as invading your privacy if you’re displaying your privates in front of cameras for all to see.

**Head Genius in Charge:** I cannot believe you’re all taking her side.

**Astrophysics Queen:** We’re all on her side.

**Dr. Helen Cho:** Unexpected penis does tend to bring people together.

**Head Genius in Charge:** You’re all conspiring.

**Dr. Bruce Banner:** Happily so.

**Dr. Helen Cho:** Literally none of us want Pepper to have to come down here because you’re being a jackass.

**Head Genius in Charge:** I don’t know what you’re talking about. Pep is a delight.

**Astrophysics Queen:** She is.

**Dr. Helen Cho:** Can confirm.

**Lab Mama Lewis:** We all adore Pepper.

**Astrophysics Queen:** It’s you we don’t want to deal with.

**Head Genius in Charge:** I don’t know what you’re talking about.

**Dr. Bruce Banner:** It never ends well, Tony.

**Astrophysics Queen:** The last time Pepper came down here to put you in your place you backed into Mr. Scanny and knocked him off the table.

**Astrophysics Queen:** Now he only calibrates correctly on the full moon.

**Head Genius in Charge:** To be fair, that spectrometer is well past due to be replaced.

**Dr. Bruce Banner:** Oh no.

**Lab Mama Lewis:** Alas, poor Tony. I knew him and his favorite appendage better than I’d ever wished.

**Head Genius in Charge:** WAIT

**Dr. Helen Cho:** Did he just say Mr. Scanny deserves to die?

**Dr. Bruce Banner:** I believe he did.

**Head Genius in Charge:** FOSTER NO 

**Astrophysics Queen:** Darcy, do we still have those coordinates for Knowhere written down?

**Lab Mama Lewis:** I believe we do.

**Head Genius in Charge:** THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT

**Astrophysics Queen:** What’s the name of Thor’s buddy out there?

**Head Genius in Charge:** I AM NOT SAYING TO KILL MR SCANNY

**Lab Mama Lewis:** The Collector?

**Dr. Helen Cho:** [gif - Michael Jackson munching popcorn at the start of Thriller]

**Head Genius in Charge:** I LOVE MR SCANNY

**Astrophysics Queen:** That’s the one.

**Head Genius in Charge:** HE AND DUM-E HAVE PLAY DATES

**Head Genius in Charge:** PRECIOUS LITTLE TYKES LOVE THEIR PLAY DATES

**Astrophysics Queen:** Do you know what I think The Collector needs?

**Lab Mama Lewis:** I cannot wait to find out.

**Head Genius in Charge:** I COULD TAKE THEM BOTH TO A ROBOT FIGHTING MATCH

**Head Genius in Charge:** IT’S LIKE MMA FOR MACHINE KIND

**Astrophysics Queen:** I think The Collector would love an exhibit of expensive sports cars.

**Dr. Bruce Banner:** With a name like The Collector a new collection would be all too appropriate.

**Dr. Helen Cho:** It would be such a generous gift.

**Head Genius in Charge:** FINE I WILL PUT ON PANTS

**Head Genius in Charge:** JUST DON’T DESTROY MY CARS IN THE NAME OF ONE OF YOUR DUCT TAPE MONSTROSITIES

**Lab Mama Lewis:** If she comes down to your lab to beat you to death with your own socket wrench I am turning off the cameras.


End file.
